Her Name was Sally: A Memoriam

Still remember the days when she told me beautiful stories. She read those in English then restated them in Bahasa so I could understand.

Still remember the days when she hardly taught me math as it was very difficult for me to think logically by that time.

Still remember the day when we prepared stuffs to celebrate New Year's eve. I watched her making pretty masks to be worn by all the young family members, though by the end only me who proudly wore the mask.

Still remember the days when we walked along the beautiful beaches of Burung Mandi and Tanjung Kelayang in Belitung, and were amazed by small jellyfish that swam right up to the coast.

Still remember the days when we hanged out together and walked hand in hand, though I weren't a little kid anymore.

Still remember the day when she organized a valentine party in our home. I could feel her excitement when her friends came and toned up the party, not to mention that funny balloon dance.

Still remember when she was pointed as a representative from her school to compete in Cerdas Cermat in Palembang. So proud of her as we always did.

Still remember when we joined an Independence Day's carnival. She looked pretty in Balinese traditional outfit, while I was in a clown costume.

Still remember when we listened to a scary channel in Kiss FM which frightened us a lot and kept us awake until the very next day.

Still remember the days when we sang our favorite songs together, interspersed with jokes and laughter.

Still remember when she told me about the student movement in 1998 and how she concerned about the Tragedy of Trisakti, a place where she was studying at.

Still remember those sleepless nights when she stayed up, made sketches for her final assignment before inaugurated as a bachelor of architecture.

Still remember those pleasure moments when we had some trips to Central and East Java, breathed in the morning air of Pangandaran, down the river of Green Canyon, culinary tour along the Malioboro Street, visited our relatives in Magelang and Malang, mounted a horse in Bromo, stayed at a spooky hotel in Lawang....until I couldn't remember well the last trip we ever had.

Still remember when we had fun at Dufan amusement park. My veil was flying before it finally dropped onto the bushes as I played the most craziest vehicle, and she couldn't stop laughing.

Still remember her happiest days, when she was proposed and became a bride. She was happy, but I was bit sad since I knew her time and her concern would be splitted once she got married. But lately, I found that this assumption was incorrect.

Still remember the day when she went abroad by herself for the first (and the last) time. To her "dreamland", Paris. I really saw her strong enthusiasm and I thanked God that she could reach one of her dreams.

Still remember when she felt anxious as something wrong happened to her body.

Still remember when she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer Stage IIIB. I cried. We cried. Everybody cried. But there were still expectancies.

Our days became gray and cloudy as the treatments seemed hopeless. But her spirit to live kept us strong.

Still remember the days when I accompanied her to RSPAD Gatot Subroto to had regular check up after several painful chemothreapies. And those specific smiles never left her face.

How could I forget the days when she patiently made souvenirs for my wedding while she's struggling in pain?
How could I forget the day when she patiently accompanied me to arrange everything related to my needs?
How could I forget the day when she gave me a beautiful bracelet as a gift while I knew she needed more than me?
For these reasons and for the sake of her happiness, I wasn't dissapointed when she didn't attend the wedding due to her work duties in Bali.

And I still remember the day when we met up at Lebak Bulus Terminal for a moment. I was on my way to East Java  and she just came back from Bali. She gave me another wedding present, a book. Then I hug her and said "good bye and take care" to her as I would not see her for the next two years. By that time, I couldn't bear my sadness so I silently sobbed on the bus.

I went to Taiwan...and I really didn't see her for two years...

And still remember the day when she together with her husband and my mom picked me up in the airport. I felt deep pain in my chest when I saw her. She's not like my sister I met two years before! Those creepy illness really undermined her body. Once again, I couldn't bear my feeling and cried as we embraced each other.

The days became cloudier than ever...

Her condition worsened. Her smile blurred and I hardly found the same spirit of life in her eyes. But I didn't want to lose her and still believed that she would survive.

Ramadhan, 13 September 2009, 4 years after she had struggled against the malignant cancer, her condition was even much worsened. I had nothing to do except to pray since I was (once again) far away from her.

Still remember when my cell phone rang and I really had a bad feeling upon it. I reluctantly answered the phone...

Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un...
"Surely we belong to God and to Him shall we return"

"The last time I saw her was on that night before I went to Lamongan. I wanted to hug her very tight but I could not because I was afraid that would be the last one..
The last time I heard her voice was when we spoke on the phone as she cancelled to visit us in Bintaro and only said "take care".
The last thing she gave me was a new dress, to be worn by me on the Eid-ul Fitr day. Instead, I wore the dress on her funeral".

I couldn't stop crying.. I didn't want to believe the news...but it had been written and they said there would always be wisdom behind any fate. So I succumbed to reality.

Still remember all the wonderful memories she had painted in our hearts.

Yes I loved her. We loved her. Everybody loved her as she always spread kindness to everyone and never had any hatred to anyone.

Yes, she's our beloved sister and her name was Sally.

May Allah SWT blessed her with infinite forgiveness and an everlasting peaceful life. Amin.


Nagareyama, October 2nd 2012

Meghan and her 1st Mukena

It's been a while since I posted the last update. 

I just finished my project, making a mukena for Meghan. I should give credit to Mbak Bayu (http://bayualamsari.multiply.com/journal/item/44), from whom I learned to make the mukena. And lately I learned too how to make bento from her blog. Really inspiring!

I was motivated by Meghan's new hobby to follow the movement of prayer. Since she never had a mukena before, so I just put a small veil on her head. Alas, I forgot to ask my parents who came to Japan mid-April to bring mukena for Meghan. Then it came across my mind: what if I made it by myself? So I started to browse "how to make mukena for kids". And I found from Mbak Bayu's blog that making a mukena was quite simple (especially if you have a sewing machine! ;)). I just needed to prepare some materials, such as: clothes, threads, needle, elastic band, lace, ribbon (optional), scissor, meter indicator, ruler, and pencil.

For details of making, please refer to Mba Bayu's blog. :)

After took several days (more than a week as I remember), the project done! If you do it using machine, I guess it can be finished in less than 3 days. The biggest barrier for me was to tackle down the laziness. :)  I really depend on the mood to do something beside my routinity. The second biggest barrier was my inability to make neat stitches. So if it is looked more closely, tanglements can be seen everywhere. :) But in general, the result is not bad at all. The most important thing for me is it fits Meghan and she likes it.

So this is it! Meghan and her first mukena. Alhamdulillah.. Thank you Mbak Bayu! Wish I could meet you somewhere out there to say my grateful directly.

Japan in the Eyes of Gaijin: Names of Month Part I

I've been admiring Japan, especially for its Manga (comics) and Anime (animation) since I was in the elementary school. The first figures I was familiar with were Doraemon, Ikkyu-san, and Ryo Saeba of City Hunter :p, then followed by cutie characters like Candy-Candy, Pansy, Miss Modern, and many more (too many to be mentioned). When I was in High School, I started to watch dorama and became a fan of Takuya Kimura ^^. I collected some mangas until the first-grade of college and ever had a dream to visit Japan someday. That's why I chose International Relations Studies (after failed two times in national exam to enter Medical Science). And my dream has been coming true. I'm in Japan now to accompany my husband who is pursuing his doctoral degree in the University of Tokyo. It has been my second year living in Japan and I'm still admiring Japan from many perspectives. For me, Japan, with its culture and society is really unique. You might have seen modernity and freedom in many western countries, but you have to learn about punctuality, perseverance (gaman-tsuyoi), and teamwork from Japanese. But we'll talk about it later.  

Speaking about uniqueness, many things or concepts have their own names and meanings in Japan. This includes months. Generally, months in Japan are simply marked by numbers and the word "month (月)" itself. For example, January is Ichi-gatsu (一月) which literally means "the first month". February is Ni-gatsu (二月) or "the second month", and so on and so forth. But in traditional way, months in Japan are named differently and each of them has its own meaning. The meaning depends on various things, such as season, culture, and custom. I am going to describe each of them as simple as I can. :)

January: Mutsuki (睦月), 'the month of affection'.

Kagami Mochi, a symbol of coming years,

yin-yang, moon-sun

It refers to the time when Japanese families, relatives, and friends get together to celebrate new year. New Year is one of the most important holidays in Japan. The beginning of the year is considered as renewal and symbolized by the 108 bell rings from the Buddhist temples on new year's eve. Many interesting things are held during the first 6 days of new year. Catching the first sunrise (hatsuhinode) is deemed important. Millions of Japanese people then go to big shrines or temples to pray for their health and prosperity on the first to the third day of new year (hatsumode). Unfortunately, we never had a chance to capture this moment directly because the location of the shrine or the temple is quite far from our home. Since Japanese families and relatives get together during the holiday season of new year, various kind of dishes are also served. But the most phenomenal new year's dishes are soba (buckwheat noodles) which symbolizes longevity, and mochi (rice cakes). Making and eating mochi are really popular during new year. Luckily, on the New Year's 2011, we were invited by my husband's hostparents to visit them in Moriya (around 30 minutes by train from our home). There was a mochi-making. We participated in pounding the mochi, and of course eating it at the end. :) Nice experience. For children (and adults too), there are special new year's games played, such as hanetsuki (Japanese badminton), koma (spinning tops), takoage (kite flying), and karuta (card game). Children get envelopes filled with varying amount of hard cash (otoshidama) too from their parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, and other grown-up families.Another interesting thing is houses and entrance gates are decorated with ornaments made by bamboo, pine, and plum trees. The houses are cleaned thoroughly as well. What I'm describing here is only a part of a big interesting picture of life in Japan, especially during new year.

February: Kisaragi (如月) or 'the month of wearing extra layers of clothes'. 

In traditional term, February has been considered as the coldest month during winter season in Japan. For me, it's rather true. From two winter periods, I found that the lowest temperatures were occurred in February. It could reach minus 7. Snow fell more often too in this month. But on winter this year, Tokyo had a heavy snow in the end of January. It was said as the heaviest snow in the last 6 years of winter season in Japan. If it's true, then I have experienced two monumental events: the biggest earthquake and the heaviest snow. Unfortunately, too many casualties caused by these two events.

 March: Yayoi (弥生), "grow more and more".

7-tiered hina doll set

The meaning of this month is correlated with the character of spring season. Even though sometimes there's still a dusting of snow in the early of this month, the signs of spring happen everywhere. I do love spring time in Japan. Besides of the pleasant weather, the month is also a beautiful time of plum blossom. There's also a remarkable festival named Hina Matsuri (the Doll Festival) which is devoted to girls in the 3rd of March. On this special day, girls are celebrated with a set of beautiful ceremonial Japanese dolls in traditional costumes. These dolls are only for house decoration and not for playing with. Once, we went to Lalaport (a department store) in Kashiwa. We were quite surprised with the price of these Hina-dolls. The prices ranged from around 30,000 Yen to almost 200,000 Yen (US$ 300-2,000)!! And a day after the 3rd March, the dolls must be packed and put away! If the dolls are kept out too long, it is believed will ruin a daughter's chance to get married. Strange but interesting. :)

April: Uzuki (卯月) or the month of Deutzia.

O-hanami

Deutzias are species of plants with white flowers in common. I haven't found a clear explanation why the fourth month is named "blossoms of deutzia" in Japan. But as far as I remember, Deutzia or Unohana (卯の花) were indeed found everywhere during April, of course beside the phenomenal sakura. I personally like sakura better than unohana. ^^  Sakura is prettier, more colorful, and more interesting to be viewed. In Japan, a festival to view sakura (cherry blossoms) together with families, colleagues, and even friends during this month is called o-hanami. One interesting fact about sakura is mentioned by Setsu Broderick and Willamarie Moore in their book entitled Japanese Traditions: Rice Cakes, Cherry Blossoms, and Matsuri, A Year of Seasonal Japanese Festivities. The color and shape of Sakura flowers symbolize purity and simplicity, while their short-lived bloom reflects the shortness of life. FYI, sakura blooms for around 2 weeks only, before the petals fall and the leaves appear. For me, Hanami and other seasonal festivals in Japan indicate how people here put concern on preserving the balance of nature, something that we often forget due to our daily bustles.  

May: Satsuki（早月）or 'the month of rice planting'.

koinobori

In Japan, this month is characterized as the busiest month of rice planting for the farmers. Bamboo shoots are also sprung up everywhere in the bamboo grove. The sky during this month is usually very clear with very warm weather too. I didn't really notice the sense of this month, except for the Children's Day (子供の日) or also named with Tango Festival (Tango no sekku) or Iris Festival (Shoubu no sekku) which is held in 5th May. Children's Day was originally named Boys' Festival and dedicated for boys in corresponding to the Hina Matsuri or Girls' Festival. But in 1948, the name was changed into Children's Day and settled as National Holiday. Traditionally during this day, families with male children display samurai dolls (musha ningyou), fly carp streamers (koinobori) outside the house as a symbol of success, strength, and perseverance; and eat rice cakes wrapped in bamboo or oak leaves (chimaki and kashiwamochi). And why is it called with Iris Festival? Because one tradition of Children's Day also includes Iris leaves, which are used to decorate roofs so that evil spirits and diseases won't come into the house. I don't really know whether this tradition is still exist in nowadays Japanese families or not. But Koinobori are really hung up everywhere during this holiday, cheering up the blue sky with colorful scratches. 

June: Minazuki (水無月) or 'the month of no water'.
The meaning of this month is quiet contradictory with the real situation. June is actually the middle of rainy season (tsuyu) in Japan. So, why is it named "no water"? Existing explanations about this are overlapping and quite contradictory. But the most reasonable explanation for me refers to the problem of translation for 無 (na) character which nomally means "absent". But based on the origin of Japanese kanji, the character is a possesive particle, so to be brief, the kanji of minazuki means "the month of water". Hmm..still confused? Well, me either. :) Just ignore this stump description as we need a native to explain about this month clearly. :p

to be continued...  

Japan Tsunami 2011: A Remembrance

On that morning, everything went normally. No one had thought that something big would come and changed some other's life. Not until the fine day turned into a gloomy afternoon when a huge earthquake hit the eastern part of Japan and brought deadly tsunami waves. The 9.0-magnitude earthquake has been recorded as the most powerful ever to hit Japan. Both the earthquake and tsunami brought a really devastating impact which caused too many casualties. It was a year ago, 11th March 2011. And here is my story..

We were eating lunch at the University of Tokyo's cafeteria when the earthquake happened. At first, we thought it's just a small earthquake which sometimes occurs since we've been in Japan. But it's getting bigger and much bigger until people inside the cafeteria started to run out, except for the caffe's staff who immediately reminded us to keep away from the windows and opened the door so the guests could come out easily. When we were already at the outside, the heavy quake still occurred. I could see how a 7-storey building trembled and cars moved up and down due to the quake. That was the biggest quake I've ever felt. The situation was terrible. When the shake was less intensive, cluster of people came out from the buildings and stayed outside. No one screaming, no obvious panic, and no selfish actions. By that time, I didn't know what was really going on in the east coast of Japan. Some military planes were on flight, but I didn't know where they're going to and why. I stayed at my husband's campus until 2 hours after the big quake happenned. There were still aftershocks every 30 minutes when I decided to go home without my husband who still wanted to check the condition of his lab on the seventh floor. Arriving at home, I was paralyzed seeing everything is in a mess. Many things like bottles, a heavy flask, and boxes were dropped from their places. I thanked God for not being at home only with my daughter when the quake occurred.

                 The University of Tokyo's lab and library after the major quake

I was still ignorant and didn't know that something miserable had happened, until I turned my PC on and saw the news. Tsunami just hit the coastal area of Sendai, eastern Japan, following the 8.9 Magnitude (and later was informed 9.0 Magnitude) of earthquake! My body was trembled. When I checked Facebook (which amazingly still worked out), relatives and friends were asking if we're okay. The news has been spread out. Though we live quite far away from Sendai, we felt anxious too, perhaps because the aftershock quakes kept coming regularly. Hence, we couldn't sleep well and often be awaken by the aftershock quakes and warning sirens from the city government, not to mention sound of aircrafts which frequently monitored the situation.

      Unusual jam in Kashiwa. These cars queued to buy gasoline two days after 2011/3 Tsunami

A day after the tragedy, we knew from the news that the victims had been increasing significantly. We felt anguish over this. The problem was getting bigger as well since some nuclear reactors in Fukushima had leaked and disseminated anxiousness of radiation issue over northern part of Japan. We were affected by this issue since some vegetables, fruits, and milk from Fukushima area were temporary banned. We were also recommended not to drink from tap water as it might contain radioactive materials. So for several weeks, I had be in queue to enter supermarket to get certain "valuable" things, such as mineral water, milk, and breads (first-come, first-served). My parents had urged us to go back to Indonesia. They thought the situation in Japan after Tsunami wasn't safe, especially for foreigners like us. Many foreigners were indeed more worried and chose to go  back to their countries for safety, including some of my husband's friends. Some prefer to go to the South, heading for Kyoto and Osaka, as in these areas the impact of the Tsunami and nuclear radiation was next to nothing. But we decided to stay. If our Japanese neighbours could stay, why couldn't we? Beside, our condition was much much better than people living near Sendai or Fukushima.

In less than one year, Tohoku prefecture in east cost Japan which had been heavily damaged by the earthquake and Tsunami has shown an incredible progress of recovery (see http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2099811/Eleven-months-tsunami-earthquake-ravaged-Japan-new-pictures-incredible-progress-multi-billion-pound-clear-up.html). I often heard that Japanese people were accustomed to cope with disasters, especially earthquake. By this time, I have become an eye-witness of their patience, perseverance, and determination in time of trouble. They really know the drill, and we should learn much from them.

Nagareyama, March 11th, 2012

The Turmoil Change of International Politics

Especially after the Cold War, the tendency to create a new world order has been materialized. Some scholars refer this condition with the structure of international realm which has become the Western unipolarism. Some other scholars perceive this tendency as the triumph of regime and international institutions. Many others believe that world order could only be constructed if there were value and ideas among states to create it. Again, world is painted by hurly-burly colors which sometimes overlapping between one to another. So, what is international order? Is there any international order in this lawlessness system?

We can say that the issue of new world order is still debatable. For some, this phrase refers to the United States’ dominant role as the most powerful state in the international arena. For others, the driving force is more spontaneous, linked to the much broader process of globalization, featuring transnational flows of capital, corporations, information, people, and lifestyles in an increasingly “borderless” world. For the rest of others, it is the emergence of meaningful forms of governance beyond the nation-state, as evident in the expanding role of international organizations and in the diffusion of liberally conceived universal standards of democracy and human rights. On the other hand, some scholars and actors see very little that is actually new, treating the post-Cold War order is simply the most recent iteration of traditional realpolitik, or merely the latest attempt of the West to impose its values, economic interests, and political systems upon others without consideration of the diversity of cultures worldwide or the economic vulnerability of poorer regions. For me, the reason of the US domination and Western enforcement on its values and interests are the most logical phenomenon because we have not seen yet the success of international organizations to create stable condition. Yet, we may not see this turmoil change in international politics as one piece per piece. It is just like a puzzle game. We have to put one thing on the right place so we could find a comprehensive picture of this world politics.

The complete version can be read at http://www.gsia.mcu.edu.tw/open_news.jsp?id=35

The Journal

When I was in college, my motivation to write an academic article was quite strong. Perhaps by that time I was still familiar with some issues related to my major. And luckily, I was surrounded by many highly-dedicated friends who were eager to produce some writings that could be published in journals. One of my best mentors in the Department of International Relations University of Indonesia invited me to join her to write an article for a journal. The article is about corporations in the context of international relations. Commonly, international relations talk about nation-states and deem non-state issues as marginal issues. That's why we wanted to review another aspect of international relations. So we did it. Our article was published in Jurnal Global dan Strategis of Airlangga University. Below is the abstract:

Multinational Corporations (MNCs) are key agents transforming the international and political economy landscape. They are highly visible organization with great power and mobility, they inspire both awe and fear. This article tries to explain the conceptual framework of multinational corporations by analyzing their relationship with state, local enterprises, and non-governmental economic constellations, then one is likely to see MNCs as sources of pursuit of balanced development is preferable, then MNCs may represent forces exacerbating inequality and exploitation.

The complete version can be downloaded at http://journal.unair.ac.id/detail_jurnal.php?id=2190&med=23&bid=8. Don't forget of the copyrights! ;)

I hope from this starting point, there will be more entries in other "qualified" journals. Amin. :)

A Glimpse about IR

Why do we study international relations? What are the advantages to study international relations for our daily life? For me, international relations discipline provides us theoretical framework of thinking. We apply framework of thinking to analyze factual condition in international affairs. Theoretical framework constructs our standpoint so that we are able to understand the dynamic of international relations critically. At this point, John Lewis Gaddis[6] stated that we have to consider the subsequent things in evaluating international phenomena: First, we have to make clear the distinction between independent and dependent variables. Second, we should take into account for changes. Third, we draw on commensurate standards of measurement. Fourth, we should have objectivity.

One aim of studying a wide variety of international relations theories is to make international politics more intelligible and better understood. In other words, to make better sense of the institutions, events, and processes which exist in the contemporary world. According to Scott Burchill, the theories will involve testing hypotheses, proposing causal explanations, describing events, and explaining general trends and phenomena, with the aim of constructing a plausible image of the world.[7]

The enterprise of theoretical investigation is at its minimum one directed toward criticism: towards identifying, formulating, refining, and questioning the general assumptions on which the everyday discussion of international politics proceeds. At its maximum, the enterprise is concerned with theoretical construction: with establishing that certain assumptions are true while others are false, valid or invalid, and so proceeding to erect a firm structure of knowledge.[8]

Theories here provide intellectual order to the subject matter of international relations. They enable us to conceptualize and contextualize both past and contemporary events. They also provide us with a range of ways of interpreting complex realities and issues. Theories help us to orientate and discipline our minds in response to the bewildering phenomena around us. They help us to think critically, logically, and coherently. We should analyze what are the causal factors behind US invasion on Afghanistan and Iraq or think coherently the relation between mainland China and Taiwan. General theory in international relations, then, consists of dividing the human race into sections, noting the significant properties of each, examining the relationship between them, and describing the patterns formed by the relationships.

We need to examine our own background assumptions to reveal and explain our selections, priorities, and prejudices because all forms of social analysis raise important questions about the moral and cultural constitution of the observer. As a scholar, we are expected to build our own models to portray international phenomena coherently.

[6] John Lewis Gaddis, “ History, Theory, and Common Ground”, in Karen A. Mingst and Jack L. Snyder, Op. Cit., p. 13-14.

[7] Scott Burchill, et. al., International Relations: Theory and Practice. London: MacMillan Press, Ltd., 1996, p. 13.

[8] James Der Derian (ed.), International Theory: Critical Investigations. Basingstoke, 1995, p. 183-4.

The full version is at http://www.gsia.mcu.edu.tw/open_news.jsp?id=17

Otanjoubi

January 27th, 2012..

Meghan's 3rd birthday. Time does fly..


She has been growing into a (very) talkative, agile, and creative little girl. Umm..plus a bit naughtier.. :)

Talking about my daughter, she loves to do many things. But her favorite activities are talking and singing. :)
She starts singing at 2 years old. Not only singing, but also humming and modifying a song ^^. At 2 years 8 months, she could almost completely sing "Ita Mira" and "Burung Kutilang". Now, in her early third year, she can sing "hokey pokey" (plus dances), twinkle twinkle little star, and "alphabet song", surely with her own style of English pronounciation. And, if I teach her another song, like "suwe ora jamu" or "yaa thoyibah", she could easily repeat after me, with correct tones.

What about reading and counting ? Well, I don't want to force her to be able to read before 4 yrs old etc. I just try to introduce her with alphabets and syllables. So far, she can read series of syllables, such as "mi ta su ka sa ma na si" or "pa pa mau be ka ta a pa pa da semua"..and more..and more.. though she'll read it slowly. As for mathematics skill, she can count until 100 and recognize the numbers. Alhamdulillah. At least, when she goes back to Indonesia and ready to enter kindergarten, she already has a basic knowledge.

What about drawing? Not bad... her favorite drawing is a "little bus", because she considers this little bus as her best friend. See the pictures below. The first picture is about "Ayah (daddy) holds Meghan", and the second picture is "Meghan holds a little bus" :). Not bad, huh? lol.

1)
2)




However, a kid is still a kid who doesn't understand the risk of doing something and doesn't know when to stop. Delinquency should be normal but as humanbeings, the parents also have limitation of patience. Sometimes I feel too harsh to Meghan, especially when she made some troubles. Lately I understand that being too harsh doesn't bring any solution. It only teaches our kids the concept of stubbornness.

My little lady grows too fast. And as I believed, "amanah" is never easy to be accomplished. Extra patience, knowledges, and resources are needed to accompany our steps in nurturing our dearest one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OUR LITTLE SUNSHINE...
Wishing you more and more happiness in your life..