Still remember the days when she told me beautiful stories. She read those in English then restated them in Bahasa so I could understand.
Still remember the days when she hardly taught me math as it was very difficult for me to think logically by that time.
Still remember the day when we prepared stuffs to celebrate New Year's eve. I watched her making pretty masks to be worn by all the young family members, though by the end only me who proudly wore the mask.
Still remember the days when we walked along the beautiful beaches of Burung Mandi and Tanjung Kelayang in Belitung, and were amazed by small jellyfish that swam right up to the coast.
Still remember the days when we hanged out together and walked hand in hand, though I weren't a little kid anymore.
Still remember the day when she organized a valentine party in our home. I could feel her excitement when her friends came and toned up the party, not to mention that funny balloon dance.
Still remember when she was pointed as a representative from her school to compete in Cerdas Cermat in Palembang. So proud of her as we always did.
Still remember when we joined an Independence Day's carnival. She looked pretty in Balinese traditional outfit, while I was in a clown costume.
Still remember when we listened to a scary channel in Kiss FM which frightened us a lot and kept us awake until the very next day.
Still remember the days when we sang our favorite songs together, interspersed with jokes and laughter.
Still remember when she told me about the student movement in 1998 and how she concerned about the Tragedy of Trisakti, a place where she was studying at.
Still remember those sleepless nights when she stayed up, made sketches for her final assignment before inaugurated as a bachelor of architecture.
Still remember those pleasure moments when we had some trips to Central and East Java, breathed in the morning air of Pangandaran, down the river of Green Canyon, culinary tour along the Malioboro Street, visited our relatives in Magelang and Malang, mounted a horse in Bromo, stayed at a spooky hotel in Lawang....until I couldn't remember well the last trip we ever had.
Still remember when we had fun at Dufan amusement park. My veil was flying before it finally dropped onto the bushes as I played the most craziest vehicle, and she couldn't stop laughing.
Still remember her happiest days, when she was proposed and became a bride. She was happy, but I was bit sad since I knew her time and her concern would be splitted once she got married. But lately, I found that this assumption was incorrect.
Still remember the day when she went abroad by herself for the first (and the last) time. To her "dreamland", Paris. I really saw her strong enthusiasm and I thanked God that she could reach one of her dreams.
Still remember when she felt anxious as something wrong happened to her body.
Still remember when she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer Stage IIIB. I cried. We cried. Everybody cried. But there were still expectancies.
Our days became gray and cloudy as the treatments seemed hopeless. But her spirit to live kept us strong.
Still remember the days when I accompanied her to RSPAD Gatot Subroto to had regular check up after several painful chemothreapies. And those specific smiles never left her face.
How could I forget the days when she patiently made souvenirs for my wedding while she's struggling in pain?
How could I forget the day when she patiently accompanied me to arrange everything related to my needs?
How could I forget the day when she gave me a beautiful bracelet as a gift while I knew she needed more than me?
For these reasons and for the sake of her happiness, I wasn't dissapointed when she didn't attend the wedding due to her work duties in Bali.
And I still remember the day when we met up at Lebak Bulus Terminal for a moment. I was on my way to East Java and she just came back from Bali. She gave me another wedding present, a book. Then I hug her and said "good bye and take care" to her as I would not see her for the next two years. By that time, I couldn't bear my sadness so I silently sobbed on the bus.
I went to Taiwan...and I really didn't see her for two years...
And still remember the day when she together with her husband and my mom picked me up in the airport. I felt deep pain in my chest when I saw her. She's not like my sister I met two years before! Those creepy illness really undermined her body. Once again, I couldn't bear my feeling and cried as we embraced each other.
The days became cloudier than ever...
Her condition worsened. Her smile blurred and I hardly found the same spirit of life in her eyes. But I didn't want to lose her and still believed that she would survive.
Ramadhan, 13 September 2009, 4 years after she had struggled against the malignant cancer, her condition was even much worsened. I had nothing to do except to pray since I was (once again) far away from her.
Still remember when my cell phone rang and I really had a bad feeling upon it. I reluctantly answered the phone...
Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un...
"Surely we belong to God and to Him shall we return"
"The last time I saw her was on that night before I went to Lamongan. I wanted to hug her very tight but I could not because I was afraid that would be the last one..
The last time I heard her voice was when we spoke on the phone as she cancelled to visit us in Bintaro and only said "take care".
The last thing she gave me was a new dress, to be worn by me on the Eid-ul Fitr day. Instead, I wore the dress on her funeral".
I couldn't stop crying.. I didn't want to believe the news...but it had been written and they said there would always be wisdom behind any fate. So I succumbed to reality.
Still remember all the wonderful memories she had painted in our hearts.
Yes I loved her. We loved her. Everybody loved her as she always spread kindness to everyone and never had any hatred to anyone.
Yes, she's our beloved sister and her name was Sally.
May Allah SWT blessed her with infinite forgiveness and an everlasting peaceful life. Amin.
Nagareyama, October 2nd 2012
